The Undiagnosed ADHD.
There is undeniably a huge rise, or so it appears to me, in women hitting 40 and seeking answers for ADHD traits. The more I look into ADHD, the more I recognise these traits, have actually, always been apparent. Through my teenage years I struggled immensely through school. Not from lack of intelligence, but because, I just could not keep focus on anything for long enough. Boredom, agitation and an overwhelming need for excitement would just take over. I knew I understood the work, but unless I had a real interest in it, I found it impossible to sit and focus. I was constantly that girl who distracted others, be up and about back chatting teachers and causing a commotion just to be the centre of attention and take the focus away from having to sit still and concentrate. A common theme on the school reports was ‘Jennifer is incredibly intelligent, but she chooses not to apply it’. I suppose to a degree this is actually rather true and a theme which I’ve carried throughout my life. To really tap into my full potential would mean I would have to sit still and focus on one thing long enough to see real results. With age and hormones, this is only getting harder to do.
What people do not tell you about healing.
Another huge lesson for me has been the fascinating but brutally and intensively difficult part, your body remembers what your brain may not. For anybody who has ever been affected by sexual abuse, this can be an incredibly traumatic journey to navigate through. The link between the brain and the body where this kind of trauma occurs can be complex to say the least. Our brain can easily dissociate to protect us from extremely traumatic events, especially when this happens in childhood. What can become so confusing, is when feelings, pain and fear arise in your body without the logical explanation from your brain of why this is happening.
Healing from Generational Trauma.
Our external world from childhood shapes the adult we become. The environment in which we live moulds our personality and how we show up in the world. We form defences and coping strategies based on our experiences. What a lot of people may not realise is that these experiences can be tracked back to the womb.
The Void.
Like everything in life, healing and self-growth is a process. A process which takes time, patience and understanding. There is nothing linear about it, you will go up and down and sometimes around and around the same cycle until the lesson starts to sink in. I am far from the finished product. Nor do I believe anybody ever will be. I believe the key to happiness is in the ability to understand ourselves, in being able to accept ourselves for all that we are, light, dark and everything in between.